If you have been in my counseling room at Center for Spiritual Renewal (CSR) East, or will be in the future, you are likely to play a little game with me. I like to ask pastors: “When you think about all the hats you wear as a pastor, or the multitude of roles you are expected to serve, or the myriad tasks you are responsible for, what do you think is your one most important task?”
I know it is difficult to choose just one task, but go along with me here. Go ahead and think about it right now. Do you have one in mind? You might answer, “Disciple people.” That’s a great answer, and I want you to keep it near the top of your list, but it’s a strike! I won’t take the time here to go through strikes two and three, but we always get there. I can’t recall anyone getting the answer right the first time.
If you don’t do the internal work of differentiating God’s plan for you from the plans of everyone else (especially those you lead), ministry will eat your lunch!
Most pastors are very surprised when I reveal that I believe the most important task of every pastor is “differentiation.” In fact, bewilderment is their most common response to this core belief of mine about what you do as a pastor. The two most frequently asked questions pastors have about my belief in the value of differentiation are these:
Question #1: Paul, why in the world do you think that differentiation is the most important task of every pastor?
My answer: Well, do you remember Billy Graham’s declaration made at almost every one of his revivals (and, by the way, how many times have you declared it yourself when preaching)? “God loves you, and He has a wonderful plan for your life!” I believe that differentiation is the most important task of every pastor because I have learned that God loves you (He really, really does!)—and everyone else has a wonderful plan for your life. If you don’t do the internal work of differentiating God’s plan for you from the plans of everyone else (especially those you lead), ministry will eat your lunch!
Question #2: Paul, I see a few lists of “job descriptions” of a pastor through the Bible, and I have never seen the word “differentiation” in any of them. Where do you get that idea from in the Bible?
My answer: I have one word for you: Jesus. Sit down with your Bible and a notepad (even if it’s digital), and read through the Gospels from beginning to end. Write down every passage where Jesus said, “No” or “It’s not My time” or “It’s not going to happen that way.” Every time He did so, He was differentiating Himself from everyone else’s plan for His life.
A few examples:
- When Jesus’ parents discovered He was not on the camel train that had left town, they returned to find Him in the temple (Luke 2:41-52). Perfect place (in my opinion) for Jesus to affirm the fifth commandment by saying: “I’m so sorry, Mom and Dad! I should have honored you!” Instead, when asked where He was, He declared He was exactly where He was supposed to be—“I had to be in my Father’s house” (Luke 2:49, NIV).
- At the wedding, when His own mother asked Him to solve the problem of wine having run out, Jesus eventually performed that first miracle (John 2:1-11), but His initial answer was: “My hour has not yet come” (John 2:4, NIV).
- On the cliff with the angry mob planning to dash Him onto the rocks below, Jesus did the “Star Trek Teleporter” move by “passing through the midst of them” (Luke 4:30, NKJV). In doing so, He was essentially saying, “Your day is coming, but not like this, and not right now” (Luke 4:28-30).
- Even on the cross, with the crowd saying if He was really who the sign above His head declared Him to be, Jesus could have gotten Himself down and saved the pain. By His non-answer, He was basically and silently screaming, “That’s not the way this is going down!” (Matt. 27:37-44).
My fellow pastor, no matter your need today, be it:
- knowing who is with you when you feel no one is
- needing a sense of affirmation when ministry isn’t going the direction you thought it would
- lacking appreciation for everything you do
- gripping insecurities are laying hold of your soul, leaving you to wonder whether or not ministry is worth it
… know that “because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” (Phil. 1:5-6, NIV).
Part of that work is found in paying attention to the internal, life-giving, soul work of remaining connected to those around you, while not allowing their responses or reactions to determine yours—which happens to be one of my favorite definitions of differentiation.