Mother’s Day has a different flavor for me this year. My mom transitioned into heaven last September, and though I miss her, I’m deeply happy for her. She had suffered for many difficult years with Alzheimer’s disease. I have found myself reflecting more than usual on our relationship and how she shaped me.
She was a wonderful mom; she wasn’t a perfect one, and I wasn’t a perfect daughter. Being a flawed human is something none of us can escape, and our imperfections can find their way into pretty much anything we set our hands to. Of course, we know in God’s hands, our weaknesses can be the very things that draw us nearer to Him.
My mom was a bulldog regarding discipline, and my younger self quietly bristled and retreated from her stern expectations. My older self has learned through experience that the decisions we make in parenting are as complex and varied as the situations surrounding them.
And, for as many choppy waters of conflict my mom and I may have waded through, these memories have drifted off as a hazy recollection; it’s her acts of mercy toward me that have anchored in my heart and mind. For while my mom was tenacious in discipline, she was relentless when expressing her love.
This juxtaposition of discipline and mercy has been pounding in my chest these past months. When I reflect on my mom’s influence in my life, I understand that her commitment to discipline and boundaries protected and prepared me for my future. It was her acts of mercy that transformed and imprinted me. I can think of a few significant instances when my choices rightly deserved her anger, but instead she wrapped her compassion around me. She gave words of forgiveness; she encouraged me to make things right, and she allowed me to move forward.
My friend, set boundaries and use discipline wisely, but be astonishing in your generous mercy. It’s what you will be remembered for.
-Sandy remington
Even now, I can physically feel the weight and freedom of these moments. This gentleness changed me from the inside out and reinforced a tender connection between us. Her mercy moved me to be better.
This is the power of our Father’s love: He loves us in our imperfections and yet always moves us toward perfection, toward Him.
And so, as we near Mother’s Day and all it encompasses, this is how I find myself asking the Lord to move in my life. Perhaps you will let me lift up this prayer on your behalf as well:
“May we be protected and prepared through His wise discipline, but even more may His lavish grace inwardly transform us. May we not be hindered by the weight of our imperfections, but instead be lifted by His mercy. As we actively receive His strength and forgiveness, may the intimate bonds of relationship be infused with new life. And may the sheer joy of this continuing work of the Holy Spirit allow us new insights into how we love our children, lead our congregations, manage our employees and serve our communities.”
My friend, set boundaries and use discipline wisely, but be astonishing in your generous mercy. It’s what you will be remembered for.
“But because of His great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved” (Eph. 2:4-5, NIV).
